Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
