if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
3 2 1 whiskey
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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