That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
