Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
