i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
