you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
why do cheetos always look like penises
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
