I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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