Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
