coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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