He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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