I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
