and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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