I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize