that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
