"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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