if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
