The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
