oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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