Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
