I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
