this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
