I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
