Best friends brother. Beat that.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
