Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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