Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
