remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
