Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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