I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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