Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
