You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Randomize
