Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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