i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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