That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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