I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
We need to rekindle our bromance
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
