if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
