I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
