this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
