Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
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