.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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