Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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