If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Houston, we have a squirter
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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