You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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