Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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