The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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