this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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