just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
