but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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