Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
