Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Randomize
