Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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