Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
