i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
