I want to have your abortion
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
