i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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